just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
