you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
