Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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