It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Randomize
