first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
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