there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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