This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
