i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
