Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
