Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
