when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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