I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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