Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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