We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
