I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
You're breaking my sexual little heart
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
