Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
