WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
