On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
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It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
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You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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