Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize