Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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