I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize
