do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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