Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
my phone needs a breathalizer
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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