whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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