I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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