i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
