well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
