Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize