you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize