I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
