when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
