I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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