I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
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