i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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