Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
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