Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
