I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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