roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
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