ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
