why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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