new low.... made out with someone while peeing
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
