If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
