last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
