What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
He keeps bees of course he's weird
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
