GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
