Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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