All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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