i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
