Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
