Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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