I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Randomize
