I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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