So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
