after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
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Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
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Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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