Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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