why didn't you poke me back
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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