We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
